we created Letizia's Club, a web site dedicated to children
with brain injury, to promote contacts between families confronted with the same problem:
the handicap of their child.We started this initiative because we are convinced that we
can help each other, exchange some advice or tips, even on aspects of everyday life that
may seem trivial but that could nevertheless enhance the quality of life of our children
and of the whole family. We would like to make it clear from the start that we do not
consider ourselves to be special, certainly not different from yourselves and that we do
not pretend we can teach you anything. We are
simply lucky parents insofar as we have had the chance of understanding the situation,
with the help of other parents. We feel therefore, and with all due humility, that we may
be able to help you during the more difficult moments that we have already experienced
ourselves.
We are also looking forward to learning from other parents. It
is through this exchange of experiences and testimonials that Letizia's Club will
hopefully become a link between these families that lead a daily battle against their own
child's handicap.
In the beginning, we bitterly missed the opportunity to talk
to parents that were going through the same experience we were. That is why we now try as
much as possible to inform others and share our experiences.
Talking about this issue can only be beneficial to us, and
probably to those that don't even know anything about brain injury or have a distorted
perception of it as well.
In our experience we have been quick to understand that brain
injury does not mean stupidity. If anyone would happen to loose sight or hearing in an
accident, nobody would think of calling that person stupid because he is banging into
objects or does not answer when talked to. We would simply think that that person has
certain limitations that have to be taken into account when communicating with him.
The same is true for our children, that are not able to tell
us how intelligent they are because, more often than not, their senses are not able to
decode the messages we think we are sending them. But the message in their eyes is clear !
These limitations cannot be a hindrance to us. We have to look into our childrens eyes,
find their potentialities and do all we can to bring them out, with all the instruments we
have at our disposal. It is our right and our duty.
Before reaching this stage, however,as a parent of a child
with a brain injury you will have a much harder battle to fight, the battle against
yourself. This battle will lead you into anxiety. You will ask yourself "why
us", you will loose sleep thinking of how life could have been.This anxiety will lead
you to isolate yourself in your own home or, even worse, in your own self. And instead of
helping your child and family, you will be even more emarginated.
We have been through this stage and know how important it is
to overcome it as soon as possible. This means we need to bring into discussion the
numerous cliches that the media often present, as well as part of our education. This is
not an easy task, but is far from impossible.We must , therefore, come out into the open,
and bring our child along everywhere, without the fear of being stared at. It is through
this curiosity towards our children that an attitude of integration for tomorrow's
disabled will be possible.
Be proud of your children, of their achievements. Their
limitations are irrevelant, whereas their daily battle for a normal life and their right
for existence are worthy of our admiration. So have your children join school together
with the other kids. Organize birthday parties as you would for any other kid, in order
for your children to know that the day they were born is a day to celebrate.
Finally, don't refrain from dreaming of a bright future for
your children, even if different from what you imagined "before". The joy your
children can give you is in no way proportionate to their capacities. Try to stick
together, you, all the people that love your children and conquer the future together, day
by day.
You may unexpectedly discover that their life has a lot more
meaning than you would have imagined and you will all come out of this a lot more
fulfilled.
We are here for you and are waiting for your letters or
e-mails.
- Tony and Simona
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